John-I am only dancing, it turns me on....don't get me wrong. I think that I have the composition for my next painting done finally after the third drawing, we shall see. It is based on the Kabala, the sephiroth to be exact. What else is new, not much, been kinda down today, but thats ok. I can't be happy every day. I kinda feel centered when I am down. I am going to molotovs tonight, I have met some new people down there and we meet informally every wendsday. I really want to get drunk. I've been 4:20 lately too. I don't like how stupid it makes me, but it makes me happier. Better for me than vicadon, but I would much rather be high on vicadon, oh sister morphine turn my nighmares into dreams. Sucks that drugs are so bad for our bodies but so good for the mind. Saturday I am going to build my new canvas I am thinking my new painting will be 6' by 8'. I am going to take photo reference instead of using live models. I won't be able to pay models to sit for the whole thing. So I will just get some models over and take pictures of them.. I have never done that before. Fuck I want some opium, oh well, sobriety sucks.